ugh... well, in an odd mood. a friend of mine killed himself. i admit, i didn't hang out with him much, but he was a good guy. him and his wife, who happens to be an even older friend of mine, were getting a divorce and he had some other complications with his life, and on the morning of thursday, the eleventh of january 2007, he took his life. i don't mourn the dead, and that coming itself shall not make me weep, but to know a human, someone you know and care about, would feel so bad to end their life, that's what makes me hurt. you wish you know what you could do to let them know that there's more out there, that their life hasn't truelly come to it's end, but it's hard to have the proper chance, when you don't know everything that's going on, and when you don't know they actually have a want to not live any more. like a large ocean tide, one wishes they could wash all the pain and suffering of the world away, in one quick swipe. unfortunatly, in that aspect, things are not that simple. you can't break a chain of suffering, that come duce or ten fold for every link, unless you break it all at once, and you can't break a link already created... humanity would have to start new, with knowledge, but somehow still without emotion. i wish it was easier, though i know otherwise. the end of pain is not something to hope for, it's something to wish of possablities, and to dream of but know it'll never come true. so many things are being crushed in my life lately it seems, but i am hoping for better... hoping someone will tell me that it's not all what it seems, and give me proof just the same. but i don't see that happening either... i just have to hope time holds what what i need, and that for everyone it holds the same, especially a few select people who could have had things better, and may have had horrible things happen recently in their lives. i wish you all luck and i give no haste in saying i care about you all.